Just a taste of my newly published book. Tell me what you think.
“Cara, wake up.”
“No, I am sleeping here forever.”
“As much as that is tempting, I leave today. There is still the day before us, wake up.”
“Can’t we stay here? In bed, like this?”
“No, Cara, wake up. Go make your coffee and run a shower for us.”
With that you deliver a gentle slap to my ass and roll me off your chest. Stretching out beside you, I am tempted to try to convince you to stay right here, in the comfort of the warm bed. Instead, with a last kiss to your chest, I climb over the edge of the bed.
The scent of our earlier lovemaking still fills the air, reminding me of our conversation rolling over in my head. What does all of this mean? What is “wanting it all”? What does that mean? I realize even as I consider your words, I am putting myself in your hands without losing myself. It is a strange feeling. I think we will be talking more; I wish you weren’t leaving today. Truthfully, our time it is always so short. I wish we had more of it, but life calls us both, and we answer.
“Cara, what are you doing in there?”
“Nothing, My. Just thinking I suppose.”
“About what? The shower isn’t running, and you haven’t gone to start your coffee. The day grows short, woman.”
“Nothing really, My Heart, nothing really.”
“Uh-huh. You will tell me when you are ready, Cara.”
What would I tell you that I haven’t already? I wonder as I turn the water in the shower on, wondering when you are leaving and what the rush to leave the comfort of the bed is. Grabbing my robe, I leave to start coffee, so it will be done by the time our morning absolution’s are complete. When I return you are standing under the heated water, leaning into the tiled wall, legs apart as rivulets of water chase each other down your back. It is a picture I will keep in my mind’s eye when we are apart. Your nakedness stops my breath in my throat, and I can only think, Each time we are together it becomes harder to let you go.
“My, what are you thinking?”
“I am just enjoying the shower, Cara. Come here, and let me wash your hair for you.”
You know all my buttons, know I love this best. As your strong hands massage shampoo through my hair and scalp, I relax into you. I could stand like this all day, feeling you behind me, your hands on me. I want to beg you, Don’t go. Stay with me. Live with me. Be my love. I don’t though, instead I lean into your hands.
“That feels so good. I love when you do that.”
“Cara, what else do you love?”
“Oh, My, don’t you know? I adore you. Body, Mind and Heart I have given over to your keeping.”
“Anything else? There is still one more I want from you.”
As I leaned back into you I thought, My Best Beloved, I gave that to you long ago without knowing. My Spirit wrapped around you and loved you. Found you among all the others and chose you for me. Bound me to you, without reservation or restriction. I knew though I wasn’t ready to tell you, I wasn’t ready to yet to give everything over. Was it my nature or something else, did I fear a loss of self within this strange new relationship of ours. I needed more time to explore my feelings before I told them to you.
“Are you keeping secrets, Cara or are you simply not ready yet to commit yourself? Tell me what you are thinking and feeling.”
“I am a little afraid, I think. It is all so new and I am overwhelmed by my feelings for you, for us.”
“Uh huh, rinse your head and hand me the sponge, woman.”